Wednesday, Aug. 21, 2002 3:09 a.m.
fitness

I've been on Diaryland in one form or another for about 1 1/2 years now. Only 16 people list me as a favorite.

Lately I've been so boring I can't really figure it out. My stomach always hurts and I still feel ugly and fat alot of the time.

But I'm trying now. I've been running with my friend Jeff and we've made a goal to get new tattoos when we get sexy. I either want a DJ Batz or some kind of star. I am obsessed with stars now. Don't know why. Just realized the other day that they're my favorite shape.

I can't decide to stay or go. I love reading people here, hate posting. Hate feeling like I have to be interesting and creative to strangers. No one ever comments on what I say anyway so I don't know if any one is reading anymore.

God I just want to be comfortable in my skin, in my bank account, in my life, etc. I want to be someone who doesn't take shit. I want to be as sexy as Buffy or anyone. I want to be...

My whole body hurts from working out with Jeff tonight. He keeps telling me that in a couple of months I'll notice a difference and I will be so glad. He's like a little cheerleader when we go. He doesn't let me slack or get embarrassed and not do stuff. He's just like "duh stupid, it's me no need to impress me, i love you already cos you're my friend now fucking run." or whatever.

So he's the best part of Matt being back here.

Wow this may be the longest entry I've written in awhile.

Jeremy is taking me out tomorrow.

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